Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Perfect Online Livestock For Sale Ad Template

Hi folks! Have you ever wondered how to write the best online for sale ad for your livestock? You want it to shine off the page so hoards of people will be emailing and PM'ing you to get in line to buy that critter now. Well, here's your chance to get it right -- Introducing::

Rose's Handy Dandy Livestock For Sale Ad Template

Ad title: Something catchy and descriptive, like "Horse for Sale"

Ad details: Be sure to mention the breed, temperament, medical history, training records, and any other useful information. Be sure to embellish here and there with minor half-truths and lots of exclamation points! (Not too many exclamation points, you don't want to sound desperate!!) For example:

"Halfinger X Quarter Horse X Arabian X Pinto purebred horse for sale. Uncut stallion, forty-two years old. Flashy mover! Super friendly, good boy! Needs advanced rider. Bad pasterns but not lame with proper shoes. Rescue horse, in good shape now! Stands, ties, good for farrier. UTD on shots."

Sob story: Always have a reason for why you have to ditch the beast.

"I hate to sell him, but I just don't have time to give him what he deserves. We are moving to Zimbabwe and landlord won't let us keep pets."

Pictures: The best pictures must be blurry, dark, and not even centered on the animal for sale.

Price: Be sure to value the animal properly, taking into consideration it's goods and bads. 

"$10,500 firm"

Declaration: You don't want to waste your time with cheapos and scammers

"Serious inquiries only. Don't waste my time if you are not ready for him. Don't bother emailing me if you don't want him. Good homes only! I will not respond to spam and fakers. Be sure to put "Haflinger X Quarter Horse X Arabian X Pinto in the subject line or else I will delete it as spam." 

Contact information: Make it clear when and how people should get hold of you.

"Call Mondays, Tuesdays, and Saturdays between 7am and 9am. Leave a message and I will get back to you. Posting for a friend so don't email. No calls after 5 pm!!!"

Location: Give plenty of detail. 

"Upstate NY"

With this template for success, that animal is already sold!

PS: If not sold in a timely fashion, it's totally fine to repost the ad over and over while threatening people. Lower the price to sweeten the pot.

"STILL AVAILABLE! Must be gone by tomorrow morning at 5 am or else!! Price reduced to $10,450!!!"

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