Thursday, April 9, 2015

Why Watching a Goat in Labor is Like Watching Ice Road Truckers

Do you remember Ice Road Truckers? It was a show on the History Channel about truckers who drove on the ice roads in Canada. That was it. Trucks + ice = TV....? The show used to make me nuts because they would promise something exciting was going to happen, but it would take a whole hour of watching truckers drive around on ice before it got to an exciting point, like a flat tire or a near slight slide off of the road. Nothing much really ever did happen but they kept you hooked by shaking the camera and adding sound effects of ice cracking.

I realized this week that watching a goat in labor is a lot like watching Ice Road Truckers. Goats keep you hooked on staring at their butts all day because you're sure that the moment you look away, a kid will pop out. Something exciting is bound to happen at any minute. Unfortunately it's 90% anticipation and 10% action. You watch and wait for hours and just when you are ready to give up they burp or fart in a way that makes you want to stay and watch some more. Was that a contraction?? Nope, she's just chewing her cud. Wait! Is she pushing? She just pushed, right? Nope, she laid down on her leg wrong and had to roll around on the ground grunting until she got more comfortable. These things are the goat equivalent of shaking the camera and ice cracking noises. And when you are finally ready to go nuts, the season finale happens and the kids finally come out.

Unfortunately Ice Road Truckers never had a season finale that involved baby goats. Maybe if they did, the show would still be on the air...


the Goodwife said...

HAAAAAA! Oh that gave me quite the chuckle, as I do know exactly what you are talking about on both true, so very true!

Lance Flournoy said...

Loves this post!